You are enough for me
“If i lose it all, You’re enough.
If i gain the world, You’re enough.
My joy is complete, Jesus You are enough for me. ” – Elevation Worship
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good kid..whatever!
I’m so sick of being the ‘good kid’ in the family. I especially hate it when my parents compare me, the ‘good kid’, with my brother. I seriously get annoyed because i know my brother probably hates it as well. When my parents say stuff to my bro like ‘Rachel thinks this and Rachel does that’ i just wish i could curl up into a ball. I mean it’s an opportunity to feel proud and on top of my bro, but really i feel like a the worse kid ever. I really am no good kid, i don’t study, i skip school to do assignments, i don’t do homework, i have crappy mood swings, i am selfish, i am boastful, i’m pretty sure my parents see all of this but why is it when they go bananas at my bro, they say i’m the ‘good kid’? Man i feel guilty, and i just feel like telling them that i’m no good kid, and my brother isn’t the bad kid. I don’t like sibling rivalry anymore, it’s stupid and pointless. All i want is to get along with my brother, get to know him, and love him like God has commanded me to.
And no, i’m not going to be a bad kid and a rebel against my parents. I just don’t want my parents to compare my bro and i anymore, it probably makes him feel worse about himself, and it doesn’t do anything but cause unwanted damage to our relationship. *bigfatgish* It’s times like this that makes me want to stand in front of a mirror (not literally) and check my motives. Jesus..help me!
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wow!
What’s with the weather these days? It’s rather cold these past few nights. And just a moment ago, my house was filled with incense smell (asian tradition stuff) but i’m glad it’s all gone now, it was making sick. Studying for accounting is a bum, but i am not too freaked about it cos it shouldn’t be too hard, i mean it’s only accounting..right?
Ok my blog post isn’t that pointless. I managed to have a really deep phone conversation with a friend from school tonight and man i am blown away by this girl, my possible uni buddy. 
We were talking about mission trips. Ok she didn’t call it that but that’s the only name i know for trips that help people. She thought it was a weird term but hey it’s just a name. Anyways, we were both sharing to each other about our past goals with helping people. And lately also i have been filling her in on the recent watoto trip that some awesome ladies from me church took to Uganda. So she’s really interested, to the point that she wants to come with me (if plans go accordingly) in 2011 to Uganda and build a house just like Tina, Mel, Mei and gang. Things were flying out of our conversation, i told her about just why i wanted to go on this trip and my past (failed) goal to help the elderlies (my collective term for old-aged people). And surprisingly, we sat on the same boat. She also attempted to help the elderlies, but gave up and she too wants to go do something practical that will put words into action.
It was an amazing convo with her, didn’t think we would ever have such a D&M cos we always muck around at school telling indian jokes. (btw, she is indian, the coolest by far) Some highlights of the conversation, which was centred on the idea that we will be venturing to Uganda and building a house in 2011, was how it would be a practical trip - it would be hands on action and we will be really making an impact, not just giving money and not knowing where it goes, but actually investing time and effort in a project that could save lives. We both agreed that you can’t just give money and leave it at that, you need to use the money strategically, like organisations such as Watoto are doing, and generate a cycle where not just one life is changed but many lives are changed. Our goal isn’t just to solve the problems of humanity temporarily but permanently, such as providing education that will educate kids so they will grow up being knowledgable, and they can then pass on their knowledge and so forth. Can you see the cycle? I believe both of us were heavily burdened by the fact that we live in a country that is sooooooo fortunate and we can’t just indulge anymore but we have to learn to share and care for those who are less fortunate. And this is not cliche, believe me, there is no light-heartedness about this, we want to do something real and will have a real impact on people. My friend and i have both had our ’spur of the moments’, such as attempting to help the elderlies, but i really think we are determined, and to know that we’ve got each other’s company, we will hopefully go beyond the ’spur of the moments’. I am not saying we will fully devote our lives to changing and solving the problems of the human race, that simply isn’t our goal; all we want is to be able to change someone’s life, even just one life; we will be more than happy chaps.
Can’t wait to see what God has installed for me friend and I, and hey Jesus, while you’re at it, please guide her to an eternal friendship with You. Thanks.
It’s been a good night. :) Toodles.
p.s it’s late and this blog may not have made sense, but hope you get the gist of it all.
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just life
The smell of cookies make me smile. Am currently baking betty crocker just-add-milk cookies, man they’re yum! Best in the world! (in my opinion) but they’re not cooking properly cos my oven wasn’t hot enough in the first place. frumpy 
Anyways, i’ve been meaning to blog about things on my mind but haven’t been able to sit down and do it. & just to give you a heads up, it’s going to be a long post. I seriously don’t know how people write such awesome and short posts, maybe they don’t blabber as much as me. meep. Life’s been cruising a-ok this past week. I’ve been thinking quite a lot lately, about relationships and about people’s security. These thoughts would have been ‘inspired’ (if you would say so) by a friend who’s been going thru some stuff lately with a guy friend and it’s got me to think a lot. Why is it that people’s heart get broken so easily in relationships? Simply because they have invested their security in the wrong place. I mean this doesn’t apply to everyone, but that’s how i see it. Why is it that my friends have been upset over guys, because they saw potential in their relationships, they saw a future but ended up being disappointed because things just weren’t right. It really sad to see my friends in such emotional states, i can say lightly, ‘that’s why i’m single’ but it probably doesn’t help because that isn’t the problem. People falling into relationships isn’t the real problem, but the real problem lies beneath a person’s skin, it lies in the core of their hearts, it lies in their security, it lies in their hope, it lies where no eyes can see. I honestly didn’t know i would help my friend at first. I could have rambled on with bible lingo and telling people that they’re wrong but it’s good that they see their mistakes now. But no, i don’t think that’s the right way. I simply listened and asked God to show me what i could do. And i thank God i didn’t go bible bash my friend cos it wouldn’t have helped.
God spoke something to me last night during worship. I find it amazing that God actually spoke to me during worship, cos i’m usually so focused on playing that i completely block off all avenues for God to speak. But God came thru last night, and as the congregation was singing, ‘You are Holy’ it got me thinking, if we are the ones claiming that Jesus is Holy, that He is the answer and that He is hope than shouldn’t we start acting on it? Shouldn’t we start being holy ourselves, shouldn’t we start being the answer to the problems of this world? Shouldn’t we start bringing hope to those who are hopeless? If we are to take up the Great Commission, then this is where we start, this is what we should be doing. This kinda comes back to my friend, i want to be able to bring God’s hope to her situation and i want to bring God’s answers to her questions. Now all i need is the faith to believe for God’s miracles. And i claim that faith because it is with this faith that great things can really happen.
munch munch crunch crunch
Next. Lately i have been trying to work out a balance in my life, a balance between church activities, study, work, family and everything else that is on my agenda. And man it’s tough. Last term, i found that i gave too much time to work, to a point where i would be working up to 20hrs/week, and as a result i was constantly tired and never had time to do school work or spend time with family. And in general, i place church things above everything even family and work and some days i would call in sick just to go to church activities. It wasn’t until the holidays that my mum really got thru to me. She has always told me that i shouldn’t call in sick for work and go to church activities and she would pretty much use this as a tool to talk down my beliefs. I would never listen to her and kept doing what i was doing. But i came to realised that she’s actually right, i mean many people (students that is) would love to have a job, i know my brother would, except here i am just thinking ‘whatever, woolies has plenty of staff, they could replace me anyday.’ But what i have forgotten was the fact that i was the one who wanted a job in the first place and i was to one who wrote in my resume that i was committed. Hypocrite much? So solution, i’ve been a tad more organised and really learning to balance out my time between my life and all in all, placing God in the centre of all. I’ve also learnt that i shouldn’t just balance my life physically, like with time spent in each area, but also in my attitude as well. THere is no point in me saying no to church activities and spending time with my mum when i’m going to be in a rotten mood because i feel forced to be somewhere that i don’t want to be. If i want to really balance out my life, then it’s got to start in the heart, i have to have a heart that wants to make a change to my current behaviours and attitudes in order for this season to be effective.
I was going to share something else but this blog is wayyyyy too long. Long blogs are boring, i mean i wouldn’t read my own blog for sure. I’m going to try blog whenever something pops into my head instead of posting blogs that contain ten million ideas.
Toodles.
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